>> Monday, May 2, 2011
Ready for a Monday morning true confession? This one is tough for me to admit, especially since I pride myself on being the best do-it-yourselfer that I can be, but not once in my entire DIY life have I ever learned how to use a lawnmower. I know. Disgrace.
After reflecting on my childhood, I blame my mother (sorry, ma). Every time she headed out to mow the lawn, it was ordered that we kiddos stay huddled inside for fear the lawnmower would kick up every pebble in the yard and rocket them directly into our corneas.
Maybe I’m exaggerating the extent of the overgrowth? Let’s snoop a bit closer…
There were no more excuses. Donated by my parents a couple of years back, this fella was about to get in on the action.
…but with no owners manual and a plethora of scary all-caps danger signs, I felt the need for assistance. It is important that our fingers stay attached to our body after all.
Lawnmower go-to guru numero uno, Dad of course…but no answer. Mom? Straight to voicemail. Brother-in-law? At work, no response…Last resort: sister who I love dearly but is possibly hanging out in the shallow end of the DIY gene pool.
Jessica: Heeeeeeey! Whatcha doin?
Cara: Oh my goodness! You answered! I have a question and it’s starting to rain so I don’t have much time.
Jessica: Oh gosh, what is it?
Cara: Do you know how to start a lawnmower?
Needless to stay, I was not giving up on this one. For goodness sake, if I can perform full fledged open heart surgery on my hot water heater with great success, I could get this outdoor vacuum to cooperate.
All you have to do is pull that little cord right?…
…15 minutes later…
…push down the funny little bar, then pull the cord…
…10 minutes and a return phone call from Mom later…
…push the red button on the side 3 times, hold down bar, pull the cord with all your might…
…and away we go!
Note to self #1: The pit in your stomach after you get a haircut and realize how truly horrendous you looked before. Exact same feeling here.
Note to self #2: Enormous backyards are great for slip-n-slides and terrier mixes. Lawn maintenance is a completely different story.